Dear kid's
By: Jean Mason
CHAPTER TWO
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After that day, Frank and me talked to the children, their was a lot of crying on both sides, but we got it over with we explained what cancer was, how some people had different kinds and how each one is different, and some are simply untreatable, and that that was the type that I had, and that yes, we were going to explore the options and see what we could do, but in case of my death, I was going to check up on all the pryer arraignments that we had made, even tho we had never thought that we would have to use them.
Finally we were done, that convocation was hard enough, but now we had to call my dad, my mom had died last year and because of the coast of getting a flight I had to miss it, my father was so heart broken, at the thought that I couldn't even make it to her funeral, in my earlier days I hadn't cared enough to be there, I had openly showed my despise for her rules and opinions, I had never really cared for her, not since I was ten years old and and she refused to take me to my best friends party because their were at least seven eighteen year olds there, and they would probably be drinking beer, it made since to me until I found out that they were just their to help set up the rock climbing boards, so needless to say, I didn't really ever forgive her, years later she got sick, really sick, and in fact, she had breast cancer, I tried to avoid facing her, but she was so sick, dad didn't want me to see her like that, so I didn't, I wish that I could say that I made up with her in the end, but I didn't, and she died, and I never got to say sorry for being such a stupid brat, for not loving her when I had the chance, for not inviting her to my own wedding.
For getting angry at dad for not coming when I tried to get him to leave mom home, and of course he didn't, but that just made me resent my mother more, in the end, she died and I didn't want to think about it, but now, I didn't have a choice, she was dead and I was dyeing from the same thing she died from, it had to be a lesson from God that now I had cancer.
As the phone rang I wondered what he would say, perhaps he would be mad at me and then slowly let me in and I would invite him over, he would come down and after a vary nice visit I would slowly and gentley let down the news, he and me would talk about the past share a laugh and that would be the end of it, of course frank thought that he should be the one to tell him, my dad has always liked frank, but I wanted to be the one, wow, I thought to myself just the other day I was having a great time and then it was all turned upside-down, I had been told that I passed out, and that same day I woke up in a hospital bed,
told that I had a incurable disease, and went home, where no one talked to me and I ended up going to sleep, then the next morning I woke, got up, made breakfast, had a little argument with frank witch ended with tears, it isn't fair that my ok life changed within the corse of three days all that had changed, it just doesn't seem right to me, but I guess that it happened for a reason- "hello? who is this? are you there whoever you are?" this voice pierced my train of thought it was an odd sound, like that of a voice that is coming from underground, but then all of a sudden the voice sounded right again, "HELLO? IS THIS SOME KIND OF PRANK CALL?"
"No dad, it's me Val." I spoke a little louder so he could hear because he had long ago lost all of his hearing in one ear, "hi dad, um are you busy?" I so wanted him to say yes and hang up the phone, then I could say that I tried and he just didn't want to listen, "no, what is it?" he said as he calmed down from his previous statement, "um well I wanted to ya know? catch up we haven't talk in forever." I said even tho I knew what was coming next,
"well it's not like I haven't tried to call, do you check your messages you must have a hundred from me in there." I thought of saying that I had been busy but that was a lie I had decided to delete all messages from him so that no one would know that he called me so I could blame him, "yeah, sorry about that, I have been well, a little busy at the moment, um so what have you been dong today?" I choked a little because I knew he couldn't have done much dew to the wheel chair restricting his movements, "not much I have been outside a little today, I mean I checked the mailbox and merry followed me, so I think I will do that a little tomorrow, what have you been doing with yourself?" ugh, I thought to myself, what am I going to do?
but just as I was thinking about something to say so I wouldn't have to let him down hard and the words just slipped out of my mouth, but then again it was more like shooting out of my mouth so he couldn't cut me off "Dad I have cancer, and the kid's are all gonna be ok and so is Frank but I'm not, it's not gonna be long before I'm gone and I just want you to know that I am sorry, I have ALWAYS been sorry and I am sorry that I was to proud to say so when I should have I understand if you don't want to forgive me but I have to try-" just then I heard a click on the other side of the line, I knew it was the phone but it took me a whole five minutes to hang up I hadn't prepared myself for this...
rejection...
