Since I am pretty sure no one really looks at this blog (including me) and I don't get online as much dew to the hostile destruction of ours...

I won't be posting a new chapter a week, but I am sure that it will be a good long while before anyone notices this update, lol also both my new camera refuse to upload to my "other" unnoticed photo blog,

so the jokes will continue till the end of the year, but after that I probly wont update that one much either,

I might just make my third blog a privet venting blog for the days happenings,
(whitch is what it seems I am being encouraged to do :p)

or I may give it to Sarah, who gets on less then I do (as if that's possible lol) anyway,
Idk yet but I doubt it will make much difference as I said before,

I am working on a new script and may post bits and peaces of it on here, but idk,
the computer that it is on wont work so Idk if it will live long enough for me to get it on a thumb drive, lol anyway, so that's what's happening,

with my blogs, mostly because In my opion three is too many for a person who only gets on once a week and has other things to do online then talk to herself, haha which is kinda what I am doing now...

This has been Jean, which hopefully the last pity post of the year! lol ttyl bye.

(BTW this is yes, mostly a joke I am aware that *some* people do read this blog and look at my others but I have been seeing a lot of these lately and thought I would give it a shot, lol but really I think I will make my other one a privet blog, lol no hard feelings? ;) )

Judging for the cooking contest.

Sarah's pasta and meatballs, she also made a fruit salad with a pudding sauce.
My chocolate and vanilla pudding layered with homemade caramel and fresh pecans and a passion fruit sauce, for dinner a salad with homemade popcorn chicken spread on top.
Ben's and Kates chicken soaked in a sweet and sour sauce with greens and mashed potatoes on the side.

______________________________________________________________

141 for my meal and desert in total.

175 For Sarah's meal and desert in total

132 For Ben's meal in total.

Now we are going to take from that 5 points for every dollar spent per plate giving us a total of:

141 for my meal and desert in total - 1.55 per plate = 136

175 For Sarah's meal and desert in total - 2.39 per plate = 160

132 For Ben's meal in total - 0.35 = 132

WINNER!!

Sarah And Grace with a grand total of: 160 points

Congrads to everyone for trying!

day three...

On day three Sarah and Grace made a classic dish of pasta and meatballs, for desert a fruit salad with a pudding dressing, which was for a more adult pallet then mine I think, but never the less the pasta was awesome, now tomorrow is the judging day so I think it's gonna be close for everyone, we had some pretty stelar meals, :)

Day two...

So today was my day to cook my meal, lol I forgot completely to get a picture so all I got was the desert, I made a salad with homemade popcorn chicken in a chili pepper and turmeric crust and dropped over the top of the salad, anyway for extra points I made a carmel and pecan sauce layered in a Ice-cream glass with chocolate and vanilla pudding and a few other layers of raspberry passion fruit jello, and crushed Oreos, can't wait to see what Sarah and Grace make tomorrow for dinner, after that we will have the final score and then, A Winner! :)

Day one of the composition...

Bens dish; chicken soaked in a sweet and sourer sause, the greens were slow-cooked, and the potatoes baked with the traditional seasoning of salt and pepper, a perfect touch, for this slightly southern meal, the total cost per plate and score will be reveled at 6pm on thursday. :)

This Blog...

Has temporarily Been Taken over by a three day cooking contest between myself, Sarah, Ben and their assistants, where we will cook a dinner (Tues,Wen,Thur, night) and be judged baste on flavor, looks, and how much it was per plate, it will be three days before it will return to normal (because of how long it's going to take) I will be posting daily with pictures of the food and on the third day the final score will be reveled, in the meantime I plan (we all know how those work out) to have written a new chapter for my book. (not sure witch though so don't get your hopes up :P)

Enjoy! :)

Because of you

Because you repented it was never a jump, to forgive your children from the baby to the drunk,

Because you were once young, you knew my youth, and how much I needed God in mine too,

Because you created me, you knew my heart, you knew my soul, and how I would decide, When you told me your love, How quickly I joined the line,

Because you Came in the form of a baby, you knew how imperfect parents can be, and yet you obeyed them, though they were below you, so yes O'Lord I can too,

Because you were 30 when you died you understand those who put their lives on the line, for you, for their country, but for all that we've done, I still cannot believe that you gave your life for mine,

Because You came back from heaven so bright, you know what it is like, to be in Gods light, and you want all to join you, for his mighty fight, for the souls of all men, from Staten's dark gaze, to save us all from the flame of hells rage,

Because you are omnipotent, You knew I existed,

Because you are omnipresent You always were there,

Because You are love, You always will care,

Thank God for the father,

Thank God for the son,

the all seeing,

all knowing,

glorious one,

Thank God you heard me,

Thank God you cared,

And Thank you Jesus Christ for not leaving me there.

The in crowd by: Jean Mason

Everyone wants to be the best, no one wants to be lower then the rest,

But it's not until we realize, that even when we visualize that we are the best, we are making ourselves even lower then the rest,

So step up, and back down, let others join the crowd, let them "Go with the wind" enjoying their sin,

While you look up and they fall down, knowing their wrongs and yet not making a sound, to plea for their soul, to beg for his spirit, too haughty too proud,

still not making a sound,

And as you run far from the crowd, you'll save a few others who reached out, and called out,

"Save me! don't let them take me! I know my wrongs don't leave and forsake me!"

Then you'll stop because you have to, you'll stop because you care, because not too long ago, you were there, screaming out sick of the crowd, while others kept quiet, not making a sound, and those who did, or wanted to, were drowned out because so many were "Not in the mood,"

And so be glad your not in the crowd, be glad you never were, because most are lost now, but always look for others and always care, because once more again, you were there,

drowning in the crowd,

sinking in sin,

going to rot in hell for denying your sin,

And yet one man saw you,

Because only one man cared,

saving your reached hide from the straight road to hell,

because his name is Jesus and he's always there.

Dear kid's (Chapter Four)

New name! it took me a while to figure a name out but I think I've got it! all

"the orphans who found the light " will now be "Dear, kid's"

____________________________________________________________________

Dear, kid's

by: Jean Mason

CHAPTER FOUR

The last days of a life are never easy if you don't have anybody, luckily I did, I had my children my husband and my father, and there wasn't much pain they made sure of that, and the last days were nice, everyone got along and were nice to each other, it was a little weird at first getting used to the whole "dyeing" thing, but after a while it was just a normal thing, like eating medicine or taking off a bandage,

One month later I died, they told my family it was painless, a week after was my funeral, my children cried, my father cried the only one who didn't was my husband, "staying strong for the kids" as he would often say, I don't know weather there was much of a point to that in this case because everyone understood, to a degree anyway, Ela understood that I was only mortal and that I had cancer and was going to die because of it, Mark, Luke, and Hope even though we tried explaining the subject with them only seemed to understand that God was "taking money away soon." as they put it,

They asked constantly why I had to leave and all I could give them for a answer was that God was calling me home, so I had to go, a six months after I collapsed at that picnic, I died, in a hospital, at 2:30 am, Frank was there the kids were there my whole family was there, I couldn't have asked for a better send off, and even though the hospital felt like a meat freezer and I had piled blankets on top of myself in order to stay warm, the love in that room on the last day of my life was warmer then any fire could have been,

Frank, and my Father planed a funeral, even though I never really wanted them to waste the money on me like that, all my friends were there, my children, Ela cried, the others, didn't quite understand,

They kept asking, "Where is Momey?" "When will she be back?" Frank was heartbroken, he couldn't answer their questions, because he was trying to keep himself together, at the end of the day my Father took the children home and put them to bed, Frank, stayed at the seminary until ten o'clock at night, then even truly drove himself home.

(No Name Yet)

Chapter three

"On the trip"

I was looking at my last letter from Darlene and thinking when I heard someone walking into the cabin, the door didn't close behind whoever it was, I already knew who it was long before she said anything, then I heard someone coming from behind me, "What are you doing?" a tone I heard one too many times, in my short existence,

I slept in on a bunk bed, there was one other bed in the room and and the room itself was really just a super small cabin, the camp I was at was a camp but one of the nicer ones, pretty much everyone stayed in a cabin, and when we wen't on hikes they were often over-night so then we stayed in tents, so it was nice to have a cabin to stay in whenever I wanted, where I am from if you go camping you stay in a tent, and any other time then this I would be glad to have one of my bunkmates coming in while I am reading because I would normally be slightly bored, but, not this time,

This time it was Shari London, a girl that hadn't moved in until her cabin suffered water damage and she had to move, oh yes thats right, she wanted a cabin all alone, her parents payed extra money for it, not that the thought didn't sound appealing to have one all to yourself, but it kind of defeated the whole purpose of going if you aren't going to at least try to make friends, and what better way then to stay in the same cabin? the same room? people will often ignore you if they don't know or have to get to know you, but, in a cabin they don't have much of a choice, your kind of stuck with them and they are stuck with you, but, in Shari London's case, well this is a girl who would rather step on my foot then say 'hello.'

She, this whole time that she had had to stay in our cabin, me and Kathy's that is, hadn't said a word to us other then to tell me or Kathy that our 'junk' as she put it was in her way, we tried to stay out of her way but it was a hard thing to do and being forgiving of her 'character treats' was slowly and slowly getting harder to do Kathy was going to talk to her about it but I guess she hadn't gotten around to it, so here she was asking me something, I was reading as I had said before so I wasn't really listening,

"I said what are you doing?" she asked again, I turned around this time, she had been messing with my things every five seconded to 'get her things back' I never really had any of her things in my bag but like I said she is a vary difficult person to deal with, I always watched her when she did to make sure she didn't rummage through my diary or anything else important to me, but this time she was just asking me a question, one which I didn't really feel like answering, but I would anyway because I didn't want her to think that I was trying to be rude to her,

"I'm going over a few letters that I got a little bit ago, why?" I asked her, at that point I put the letters back in my things, and looked at her since I obviously wasn't going to finish what I was doing, "Ooook, well then why are you doing that in here?" she stared at me and all I could do was stare back and say "Ummm because there is a kickball game going on outside and I needed the quiet? listen why does this matter to you anyway?" she looked at me almost as if she thought that I didn't understand the question, she glanced at the letters that I hadn't taken off my desk yet,

she stared at them for what seemed to be a long time, finally I got vary sick of her looking at my things and so I got up, she in turn picked up a letter I had written to Chris and was reading it, READING IT I could deal with her snide attitude, and even her going through my clothes thinking I had stolen something from her, but to have her looking at my personal letters to my friends was just too much, "Thank you for the grammar check, but I think my spelling was fine."

I snatched my letter from her and put it in my bag, then I turned and through it on my bed, or so I thought, I must have been much more annoyed then I thought, because I through it past my bed and it landed next to her bed, she stared at me with upset eyes, I told her I would move it as soon as I got back, then I slipped on my sneakers and then left the cabin, I bit my lip as I walked out, I could not believe her! she didn't even get why I was mad at her! ugh, anyway,

it didn't matter now I was out of there, we worked on one more project that day, then the next day we went on a hike, it was wonderfully beautiful, and altho the hike up and down was long, just being there seemed worth it, after the hike we all sat around the bon fire making s'mores and talking I could see Shari staring at me from across the fire, her bright green eyes staring into what seemed to be my soul, I know it was crazy but I really do think she wanted to hurt me for some reason, or at least start a fight but I didn't provoke this, and I certainty wasn't going to start a fight for no reason, I would tell one of the consolers LONG before I let the situation deteriorate to THAT level, not if I had anything to say about it,

The next day for breakfast instead of the normal food laid out on a table out front, they had a large fire, out me and Kathy got dressed and went out to eat, I took a little longer because I could not for the life of me find half of my stuff, I couldn't remember what happened to my bag that it would all be missing I had a feeling about it but I tried to put the thought out of my mind though,

I took a pan and two eggs to the fire, the other girls were up before me and Kathy so they were pretty much down cooking, ''awesome, no line!" I said to Kathy as we walked over and started to set up, I saw Shari across the fire again, only this time, she was not alone, there was a small group of three girls who were standing around her and laughing, she was telling them something... then she confirmed my fears by pointing me out and waved, the other girls looked at me laughed and waved too, pretty soon my food, was done, as I started to eat me and Kathy saw something else that made us wonder what was going on, on of the other girls Elena was running over to m.r Hepper, or Josh as we called him, she and he had a vary short conversation, and then left with on of the other staff members,

When me and Kathy were done, we started on one of the smaller hiking trails, we found some frogs which were so small we almost stepped on a few of them and I saw a sneak on the path but it was gone long before we got anywhere near it, we were walking for a little bit before we decided to go back and see if we had missed all of class, here it was optional, we didn't have to attended because it was just shop class, you did have to say where you were going though,

On our way back we were stopped by Elena who told me that she found some letters with my hand writing on it in the woods, I was shocked, me and Kathy rushed over and started to gather up my things, ALL my markers and pens were gone! I didn't have a clue as to where they went, but I could only assume that Shari had had something to do with it all, I remember picking up this bag and putting it with the rest of my things, but why would she move it out here and steal all of my writing supplies?

Me and Kathy began to walk again after gathering up my things she couldn't possibly believe that even Shari would do this it didn't make any since, I reminded her that neither did Shari's behavior the past few weeks, but it really didn't matter, my stuff was missing and I had to find it because I had pretty much brought 30$ in pens markers and paints before the trip and I really didn't want to have to replace it all,

We decided to go back to camp and put the things of mine that I had already found away and come back to look for the rest, but it did't matter, before we got back, I already knew what had happened to it all.

(No Name Yet)

Chapter two

"Letters from me."

____________________________________________________

5/5/11

Dear, Mom and Dad, my first day at camp was an absolute blast! but I wish my

friends were all here! hey! remind them to send me some letters! I haven't gotten

any of them! lol of course they may have gotten lost! How are the animals? I know

they are all pretty crazy but I never thought I could mess them so much! :)

And what are you guys doing with the cherry bushes if I'm not there? I completely

forgot to do them before I left! lol (sorry about that by the way) lol I listen to me I

must be the first person to write home! what a whimp right? lol yeah everyone

here is really nice so far but I don't know yet because I haven't met them all yet lol

hope to soon :) Love you guys!

p.s you too Helen >;P roflol! :) how are you!

love, Sam .P

____________________________________________________

5/16/11

Dear Samantha,

Your Dog got sick, we took her to the vet and she said it was just a flu, of course it cost the

earth! well not really but anyway she is now incredibly lazy your father is miserable without

you, he keeps joking that he can see you walking up the driveway, :) oh! Darlene wanted you

to know that her she is at a summer camp, a LOT like yours! but she can't write you from there

until she gets back so she couldn't send you a letter, I'm not sure about Christ I asked his

mother she said he had the flu or something, everyone seems to be getting it, Helen's cold

finally broke! she and now she can't get enough water! lol

is it warm enough up there? I checked the weather, and it seems to get a lot colder up there

then down here! lol write us when you feel like it, I'm glad that you are making lots of friends, :) have fun!

love, Your Mother Father and Helen.

____________________________________________________

5/21/11

Aww! poor thing! I wish you were able to mail her up here! is she feeling any less lazy

nowadays? I hope so, and yes Mom it is plenty warm up here it was like 90 yesterday! so

DON'T SEND ANYMORE JACKETST!!!! they are showing up how make things out of pieces of

leather that you are going to throw away, lol so that leather Jacket that Helen can't fit will

soon be booties for my dog! roflol! send it up I wanna take it in and see how it goes if you

can't I will do it when I back, yea I am making some friends up here but mostly with the girls

in the cabins near me, I should be back home in like two more weeks so I am trying to make

the most of it, ya kno? lol and then I will beat up Christ for not sending me a SINGLE letter,

lol he can't still be sick can he? if he is tell him I said to 'get well soon' anyway I would think

that Dad and Helen would be glad to be rid of me since now they can fish with out me

tagging along and messing it up for them lol, HEY! guess what? a bunch of the girls and me

are going to stay another week and camp out in the woods up here all the guides and

consolers are doing it so they just said that if anyone wants to stay on for the extra time it

would be fine as long as the parents were ok with it, soooo yea I don't have to say till the

last week so you'll have time to think about it,

Write me,

love, Sam .P

____________________________________________________

6/4/11

HEY SAM!!!!!!!!!!!! haven't seen you in forever it feels like! camp let out early because of the heat

and all witch is fine because I begged my mom to send me to the same camp as you but she didn't

like the idea of it so she sent me to that other place we were looking at, it was fun but all the girls

that were there were real girly girls so they didn't really like getting dirty lol unlike you and me,

;) so I ended up babysitting Valentine your dog because your Mom said she was to much trouble,

plus I need the money, and oh Johnny Randalf got into a car crash so pray for him in the hospital,

were gonna sign his cast so I'll just put your name on there for you ;p lol anyway I hope I see you

soon don't get eaten by gnats! lol

Love ya!

Darlin.

____________________________________________________________

(no name yet)

Chapter one

A Lonely walk home

"Bye!" I said as I walked home from school waving at my friends disappear in the distance, I turned and started down the long winding road home, I kept wishing that Darlene or Christ lived closer to me so I wouldn't have to walk home all alone, I was really being stupid because there was no reason to be afraid of walking home alone, there everyone on the road home was someone I knew, not that I would ever need to knock on any of there doors, but it was nice to know,

I started thinking of dinner, something I only did when I was bored, and as I walked the road like always seemed to go on forever,

As I got into the driveway I saw my sisters dog running around, she stopped, stared at me, barked, and then after realizing it was me going back to walking in the back yard, Helen must have heard the barks because she stuck here head out the door waved at me and them held it open until I got there, when I got up the steps I gave a quick "thanks," to Helen as I went into the house put my coat on a door hook along with my bag and took my books into my bedroom,

Afterwords I washed up and came in for dinner, we talked about our days, as we had done a million times it was pretty much the norm untill Helen lit up with a cheery voice, "Only five more weeks until I get my own roooooom." I glanced up at her, she was referring to Girls Camp, I personally didn't really enjoy the Idea of spending a 'Couple of weeks' as my Father often put it, they weren't sending me away because if I said I didn't want to go they would have canceled and I wouldn't have gone but part of me wanted to go, I don't know maybe I was 'insane' like my sister Helen often told me,

After dinner I took out the trash and washed the dishes, witch I know drove my mother crazy, she wanted me to spend my last few days before my trip relaxing and packing, then after I was pretty much ready for sleeps warm dark embrace to take over,

I woke up the next morning at 4:03 am my parents were getting ready to start the day and I had been told Helen had come down with a cold and was sleeping, I ate breakfast and then read some of one of my books, and took another look at my map of the campsite, by the time I was done reading it I looked up and it was 5:14 am, I had to ride with Dad to work because it was near the bus stop and that was where everyone who was going to the camp was suposed to be at exactly 5:45 am, so I put my stuff in his car and we left,

when I got to the bus stop, I said goodbye, of course he only said "See you later." because we would see each other in only a few weeks, and I planed to write to my friends and family back home twice a week, lol maybe I was just being homesick even before I got on the bus, I waved goodbye again and said "I love you!" right before getting on the bus and pulling out.

THE best quote from H.I

Lol so I am back from Hunting Island and thinking about all the funny jokes we made,

lol my favorite was probably from Kate,

"Jean! is that a raccoon?"-Kate

"Yes Kate it is isn't it cool?"-Jean

"Jean! is that a Dear?"-Kate

"Yup! see how it's eating the leaves?"-Jean

"Jean! is that a Seagull?"-Kate

"Yeah I think so I'm not sure it's pretty far away."-Jean

"Jean! is that a Dolphin?"-Kate

"Yeah they are hunting thats why they won't stay up for long."

"Jean! is that a Dog?"-Kate

"LOL yes Kate it's a German Shepherd, I think you've been here too long, lol"-Jean

I love Kate.

OK

So Dad is back so I have to make this quick I won't be able to post to any of my blogs (even though I have been trying to figure it out all week) so I will post pix and anything else when I get back,

TTYL!

Happy 4th of July!

Well it's official, there are so many people grilling out here that the sky has been smokey for TWO days! lol I'm kidding, (no I'm not theres a lot of it)

off to the church picnic!

Have A Good 4th!

perfectins out, except for Jesus of course. :)

"But no perfection is so absolute, That some impurity doth not pollute."

-William Shakespeare

Roflol!!:D :D :D

I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.

"And ye are Christ's; and Christ is God's"

1 Corinthians 3:23

Remember...

‎"So let us not become tired of doing good; for if we do not give up, the time will come when we will reap the harvest."

Galatians 6:9

__________

I love this verse because it helps when you are feeling like you should just give up because no one really notices what your doing anyway, of course thats not the reason you should do things to begin with. :)

"Too sensitive"

"Too sensitive," a term I hear a lot, heres what I think about it, "Too sensitive" means many things, for one, that you are touching a subject that someone does not want to discuss, or is uncomfortable with, or sometimes, it means that you are being too sensitive but it's because you are aware of something that everyone else doesn't know,

or because it is about something that is close to you and others don't know it, or because someone doesn't want to start a argument, but the real truth of it is, theres no such thing as "Too sensitive," only that sometimes, people do not chose to share all the information they have at the time and so because of the misunderstanding they are labeled as "Too sensitive" and because of this some people don't ever really get to know whats really going on, because if they were to know about what was all going on before assuming that then the problem wouldn't exist, but unfortunately most people just don't get the chance, or care to in some situations,

so they call you "Too sensitive" you retract taking all the unknown information with you, no one understands what happened and because you are no longer in the mood to discuss what is going on it is also assumed that they are correct, and now you won't defend it, you'll let it set there till either you let it go and forget, until the next time, and sometimes, you stand up and say why you feel the way you do the first time, sometimes people say 'ok,' and they really get it, and sometimes to them it just proves what they had been saying, so really it depends on how much trust they have in you and how well you know them that would allow them to hear and understand the first time,

also, not just assuming things helps, after all most of the time you never really know whats going on until someone finds the bravery to tell you, and they never will if all they will get is a slap on the back, "Just rub some dirt in it and it will be fine." things like that create voids, and if left they will grow wider, and it will get harder and harder to reach that person without a bridge.

leave the Judging to God...

My sis found this and I found it vary interesting so I thought I would share, please think about your answer before you decide you may be surprised.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Question 1:
If you knew a woman who was pregnant, who had 8 kids already, three who were deaf, two who were blind, one mentally retarded, and she had syphilis, would you recommend that she have an abortion?

Read the next question before looking at the answer for this one.
____________________

Question 2:
It is time to elect a new world leader, and only your vote counts. Here are the facts about the three leading candidates.

Candidate A -
Associates with crooked politicians, and consults with astrologists. He's had two mistresses. He also chain smokes and drinks 8 to 10 martinis a day.

Candidate B -
He was kicked out of office twice, sleeps until noon, used opium in college and drinks a quart of whiskey every evening.

Candidate C -
He is a decorated war hero. He's a vegetarian, doesn't smoke, drinks an occasional beer and never cheated on his wife.

Which of these candidates would be your choice? Decide first, no peeking, then scroll down for the answer.

Candidate A is Franklin D. Roosevelt.

Candidate B is Winston Churchill.

Candidate C is Adolph Hitler.

And, by the way, the answer to the abortion question: If you said yes, you just killed Beethoven.

Pretty interesting isn't it? Makes a person think before judging someone.

___________________________

-unknown author

Dear kid's (Chapter Three)

Dear kid's

by: Jean Mason

Chapter three

The next day I was walking in the yard watering the plants that looked thirsty sence it was 87 degrees outside that day I heard the phone ring inside before I even shut the hose off it went off and I assumed that Frank had picked it up, I had assumed right since just after he rushed out of the house and asked me if I would be ok with watching the kids for a "couple of hours" I laughed SO hard at that I nearly squirted myself with the hose, "I am their mother, I'm not dead yet" he had been smiling but after that he frowned and told me "still a little too soon for jokes like that."

I knew he would never be ready for "jokes like that" he was still having some problems with the thought of me dyeing I tried to smile but he looked so sad, so I hugged him and he said he would see me later, then left, I wondered why he was leaving but when I opened my mouth to ask he was pulling out of the yard so I slowly forgot, and then I went inside to find out what my children were doing,

Well as I walked in the door I saw Brigit sleeping in her high chair, I chuckled a little inside, but went over and moved her to her little pink bed, and walked out to clean the mess that was left from lunch,

when I got back into the kitchen I saw Mark and hope racing out of the kitchen, so of course I ran after them, I did try calling out but they didn't turn back so I kept going, of course they were much faster then me but I was able to catch hope to turn her around and see a two handfuls of bread that she was carrying, her face was so shocked that I nearly laughed, and yet I knew I had to keep a straight face, at least to ask her why she and her brother had not answered me, so I bit my lip then said sternly,

"what are you doing with this?" she stared at me a moment and then told me that it was a 'secret' I stared at her for a second "you may not keep secrets from your father or me, you know that, now what is the bread for?" she shigd as if she were vary saddened by the fact that I forgot that rule, then she finaly spoke up, "Me, Luke and Mark found a cat outside on the road and we were going to feed it because we wanted to keep it for a pet." I stared blankly at her and then spoke, "A ca-at? I mean how did you even get it back here?" she smiled and said "Well we carried it most the way but when we got into the yard we just hid it inside Luke's hat and then we put it in the back shed with the yard tools and-" I didn't really want to hear much more I got the picture, so I told her to take me out to her brothers and as I walked into the front yard saw it, a tabby cat with a black spot that went from the top of it's head all the way to it's tale... I guess you could call it a "racing stripe" that what my children did, from then on it's name was racer witch I didn't think was a proper name for a cat but we feel in love with him he was sweet and would sit on the back deck in the mornings holding a dead rat, as if he was supposed to get some kind of a prize,

Anyway, when I came back in Ella was writing a letter most likely to one of her friends in ohio I did wish that she could hang out with them more but she never complained about it, after all she was the oldest, I heard brigit crying so I walked back into her room to find her on her belly awake and screaming after changing and feeding her she settled down to simply "cooing" while I held her, when I heard the front down swing open and I tried my best to get there quickly to find out what was going on, my husband Frank was carrying in two suitcases and then in came my father...

I didn't know what to say I couldn't even think all I could think about was that he had hung up on me and I just assumed that meant he wanted nothing to do with me, before I could say anything he rushed forward and hugged me, I burst into tears and all I could get out of my sobs was "How could I have been so stupid?- I'm so sorry-" he cut me off "it's OK, you didn't know" I didn't know what that meant but it made me feel better, and I was ok with that,

later he told me that he was moving down to make sure we were all right, that he 'Already lost one person to this he wasn't going to lose another' I felt that I should have told him to stop, stop looking for experimental cures, that this was my time and he had to let go of me, but there was no point he said he would never forgive himself if I died and he hadn't done, everything he could for me, then he would have failed as a father I tried to talk him out of it, but in the end Frank ended up joining him researching going to hospitals, they tried not to put to much stress on me thankfully because Frank knew how little I wanted them to fight this, sure, I wanted to be there for my kids, but God givin me a hand and I wasn't going to fight what I had coming to me for a while, I prayed about it sure, I even prayed for him to take it away, or why did it have to be me, my family, but in the end it's what God wants and if that is what he wanted I wasn't going to spend my last hours in a wheelchair with air toobs up my noes waiting for someone to feed me some really gross apple sauce, I was going to be home, with my family, saying goodbye to my loved ones,

It was five more months before they finally stoped looking for a "fix" I had already stopped trying so it didn't really even matter, after that I signed a pice of paper that told them that if I went into a comma or could only be alive on life suport that they were to "pull the plug" because I was already dead and my body didn't need all of that for me to move on, I didn't tell frank or anyone else for that matter it was strictly something I needed to do without anyone telling me what they would do, because it didn't matter, they weren't here,

after about a year of being able to move about without interruption I lost an ability that I had crawled for three years to achieve, I could no longer walk, bed ridden for what was left of my life.

Roflol!!! The voices!!!

Having voices in your head is normal, listening to them, common, arguing, acceptable, however, it's when you lose the argument, that you're in trouble.-unknown author

I heard this and it sounded so funny I HAD to post it

Dear kid's (Chapter two)

Dear kid's

By: Jean Mason

CHAPTER TWO

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After that day, Frank and me talked to the children, their was a lot of crying on both sides, but we got it over with we explained what cancer was, how some people had different kinds and how each one is different, and some are simply untreatable, and that that was the type that I had, and that yes, we were going to explore the options and see what we could do, but in case of my death, I was going to check up on all the pryer arraignments that we had made, even tho we had never thought that we would have to use them.

Finally we were done, that convocation was hard enough, but now we had to call my dad, my mom had died last year and because of the coast of getting a flight I had to miss it, my father was so heart broken, at the thought that I couldn't even make it to her funeral, in my earlier days I hadn't cared enough to be there, I had openly showed my despise for her rules and opinions, I had never really cared for her, not since I was ten years old and and she refused to take me to my best friends party because their were at least seven eighteen year olds there, and they would probably be drinking beer, it made since to me until I found out that they were just their to help set up the rock climbing boards, so needless to say, I didn't really ever forgive her, years later she got sick, really sick, and in fact, she had breast cancer, I tried to avoid facing her, but she was so sick, dad didn't want me to see her like that, so I didn't, I wish that I could say that I made up with her in the end, but I didn't, and she died, and I never got to say sorry for being such a stupid brat, for not loving her when I had the chance, for not inviting her to my own wedding.

For getting angry at dad for not coming when I tried to get him to leave mom home, and of course he didn't, but that just made me resent my mother more, in the end, she died and I didn't want to think about it, but now, I didn't have a choice, she was dead and I was dyeing from the same thing she died from, it had to be a lesson from God that now I had cancer.

As the phone rang I wondered what he would say, perhaps he would be mad at me and then slowly let me in and I would invite him over, he would come down and after a vary nice visit I would slowly and gentley let down the news, he and me would talk about the past share a laugh and that would be the end of it, of course frank thought that he should be the one to tell him, my dad has always liked frank, but I wanted to be the one, wow, I thought to myself just the other day I was having a great time and then it was all turned upside-down, I had been told that I passed out, and that same day I woke up in a hospital bed,

told that I had a incurable disease, and went home, where no one talked to me and I ended up going to sleep, then the next morning I woke, got up, made breakfast, had a little argument with frank witch ended with tears, it isn't fair that my ok life changed within the corse of three days all that had changed, it just doesn't seem right to me, but I guess that it happened for a reason- "hello? who is this? are you there whoever you are?" this voice pierced my train of thought it was an odd sound, like that of a voice that is coming from underground, but then all of a sudden the voice sounded right again, "HELLO? IS THIS SOME KIND OF PRANK CALL?"

"No dad, it's me Val." I spoke a little louder so he could hear because he had long ago lost all of his hearing in one ear, "hi dad, um are you busy?" I so wanted him to say yes and hang up the phone, then I could say that I tried and he just didn't want to listen, "no, what is it?" he said as he calmed down from his previous statement, "um well I wanted to ya know? catch up we haven't talk in forever." I said even tho I knew what was coming next,

"well it's not like I haven't tried to call, do you check your messages you must have a hundred from me in there." I thought of saying that I had been busy but that was a lie I had decided to delete all messages from him so that no one would know that he called me so I could blame him, "yeah, sorry about that, I have been well, a little busy at the moment, um so what have you been dong today?" I choked a little because I knew he couldn't have done much dew to the wheel chair restricting his movements, "not much I have been outside a little today, I mean I checked the mailbox and merry followed me, so I think I will do that a little tomorrow, what have you been doing with yourself?" ugh, I thought to myself, what am I going to do?

but just as I was thinking about something to say so I wouldn't have to let him down hard and the words just slipped out of my mouth, but then again it was more like shooting out of my mouth so he couldn't cut me off "Dad I have cancer, and the kid's are all gonna be ok and so is Frank but I'm not, it's not gonna be long before I'm gone and I just want you to know that I am sorry, I have ALWAYS been sorry and I am sorry that I was to proud to say so when I should have I understand if you don't want to forgive me but I have to try-" just then I heard a click on the other side of the line, I knew it was the phone but it took me a whole five minutes to hang up I hadn't prepared myself for this...

rejection...

Gods beauty tips

For attractive lips speak words of kindness

For beautiful eyes look for the good in others

To lose weight let go of stress, hatred, anger, discontenment and the need to control others.

To improve your ears listen to the Word of God.

For poise walk with knowledge and self-esteem.

To strengthen your arms hug at least 3 people a day

Touch someone with your love.- author unknown

(I know I don't -always- follow this but I thought maybe one of you guys would enjoy it)

what ever happened...

What ever happened to the girl who was only eight but talked to everyone? or the one who used to answer questions first even though she didn't know weather she was right or not? what happened to the good old days when everything was simple for her? ugh, it's so sad to think of it like that but I don't normally, it's just that today seems like everything is crashing down even though I know that it's not. I'm going to keep moving forward even if it feels like I'm not getting anything out of it, because "It's not what you take out of life it's what you put into it."

(I hope you don't mind me using that but it was good :) )

so today I am going to go and try even if it hurts and makes me cry every now and then, because the end is worth the ride even if it's bumpy, and I mess that little girl.

So today...

I am bored out of my mind mostly because I just finished my picture lol it was fun to work on but I am going to look up some more art so I can get some more ideas for drawings so far Bob Ross has been pretty helpful,

(yea I know how that sounds) anyway I'll I seem to be able to draw is trees and water and mountains I wish I had more inspiration but I guess I'll figurer it out soon I haven't decided weather to post my pictures on my picture blog or not but most everyone on here has seen um anyway,

so probably not, anyway I have yet to find anything to do with myself other then the basics, so I guess I'll just have to look around for a new project.